


Safe (?)

by KieraElieson



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Borrower Deceit | Janus Sanders, Borrower Morality | Patton Sanders, Fluff, G/T, Gen, Injury, abusive human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KieraElieson/pseuds/KieraElieson
Summary: Janus manages to escape from the human and get back home. He's safe now. Or is he?
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 26
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [parallelmonsoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelmonsoon/gifts).



Janus was dropped back into the cage. He couldn’t stop shaking. Why couldn’t he stop shaking? 

He heard the human walk away, and slowly rolled onto his back. It hurt less this way, at least when the human wasn’t there. When they were, they seemed to view any showing of his stomach as an invitation to poke it, often harshly. He still hadn’t figured out why. 

He’d laid there on his back for several long minutes, staring up at the ceiling. And then it hit him, making him sit up immediately, and then curl over in pain. But it was the ceiling. The lid of the cage had been left off. 

The bars of the cage ran vertically, but that shouldn’t be a problem for him. Normally at least. He was pretty sure that climbing them was going to hurt like a beast. He just had to not let that slow him down. The human could get back any moment, and… Janus shuddered at the thought of being caught mid-escape attempt. 

He reached up and grabbed the bars, pulling up and getting whatever traction he could with his good leg. He was lucky his other wasn’t broken, but he wasn’t about to chance hurting it further, and any weight put on it would certainly hurt far more than the pull from his arms. Making it all the way up was hard, and took a lot of struggling, but then when he got to the top and could rest for a moment, he was faced with the more difficult question of how to get down.

His hands were shaking more and more, and he needed to get down fast. He gripped the rim and lowered his body down, trying to shift his grip to one of the bars. And then his other hand, but his first hand slipped before he could grab the bar and he fell to the table, biting back a shriek as his vision went white. He had to be quiet. The fall itself was loud enough, he couldn’t make a sound. But tears ran down his face, blurring his already spotty vision. 

He had to move. He had to. He couldn’t stay here. He’d get caught. 

Janus grabbed the hem of his shirt and rolled it up halfway, before biting down hard on the roll and trying at the same time to stand. A high sound slipped out, but muffled, and he got upright, holding onto the bars of the cage for support. 

The table was against the wall, and he knew, had known the whole time, that there was a way into the walls right there. It had taunted him every night since he’d been captured, but now he could finally get to it. 

He was practically dragging himself by the time he got through the door, but he did get through it. 

He made his way painfully to his house, which was thankfully one the same floor, and dropped into his bed, spitting out his filthy shirt and letting his pain out into his pillow.

  * •^*^••



Patton went to Janus’s house again. He hadn’t seen him in nearly two weeks, and it was worrying him. He could understand just missing him while he was out borrowing a few times, but two weeks? And he hadn’t even run into him while borrowing either. He was just getting very worried.

He knocked on the door, and was extremely pleased to hear Janus’s voice. “Just a moment!”

But, as he waited that moment, he frowned, because Janus’s voice had sounded a bit strained. 

There was a faint grunt, and then a sigh. “Let yourself in please.”

Patton opened the door, which wasn’t locked, not even completely latched, and walked inside. 

Janus was sitting in a chair, looking rather stiff, even as he smiled at Patton. 

“I came to see how you were doing. Oh! And also I found a strawberry! It’s not quite fresh, but I’ll give you half if you want!”

Janus’s smile softened into something more natural. “Thank you, Patton, I would love that.”

Patton smiled brightly and sat down on a pincushion that Janus used as a chair. “So where’ve you been? Or have I just missed you?”

Janus’s face got the first look of genuine discomfort. “Actually, I fell and hurt my leg. I’ve been trying to splint it, but I would greatly appreciate help.”

He moved the blanket off of his lap, revealing his leg that looked very swollen, especially around his calf. 

“Ohhh, Jan, I’m so sorry!” Patton said, moving to kneel beside him so he could inspect his leg. “If I had known I would’ve helped you get back home, that must’ve been awful!”

Janus gave him a smile that was part grimace. 

Patton dragged the pincushion over and propped Janus’s leg up on it very carefully. Janus’s face went very still, which just worried Patton more. It must really hurt. 

“Is it broken?” Patton asked, rolling his pants leg up and feeling around as carefully as he could. 

Janus shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

Patton nodded. “Ok. It would really be helped with something cold, I just don’t know where I would get that.” He felt around in the swollen area, just trying to be sure it wasn’t broken.

“You don’t need to do anything like that-“ Janus started, and Patton fixed him with a glare. 

“Are you telling me not to help my friend when he’s hurt?”

Janus gave him another smile that was half grimace. “Fine, you win.”

Patton smiled more brightly than he felt, since Janus would need more happy with his poor leg. He got the bit of wood Janus was using as a splint and tied it on well so it held his leg still. 

Janus sighed, and it sounded like relief. “Thank you, Patton.”

Patton gave him a big hug, or started to, cause he froze up. “Oh, sorry, I should’ve asked.”

Janus smiled, but it was a very tight, exact smile. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Patton wanted so badly to help him feel better. “Can I hug now then?”

“Of course you can.”

Patton just gave him a quick hug, and then he left to go find something cold. 

  * •^*^••



Janus waited until he was sure that Patton was gone to let out the wheezing groan. That hug had  _ hurt, _ which he knew was the opposite of Patton’s intention, which was why he hadn’t disillusioned him.

He leaned his head back and shut his eyes, trying to find the exact pattern of breathing that would least aggravate his sore ribs. 

Patton would probably be gone for a while. He just had to manage to fall asleep. It couldn’t hurt if he wasn’t awake to feel it. 

He didn’t exactly drift into sleep so much as force himself into it, but he did fall asleep. 

_ Janus eyed the trap from a safe distance, wondering how best to get the food out of it without endangering himself. Across the apartment he could see the human, but he knew well that the human couldn’t see him.  _

_ All was simple and normal until he caught a glimpse of movement and saw a door opening. It was Patton. Patton couldn’t see the human, but if the human looked, he would be able to see Patton.  _

_ Janus glared at Patton, trying to send a telepathic message to him to leave! And then the human stood up.  _

_ Janus waved his arms, chancing being seen by the human in hopes that Patton would see him.  _

_ The human was turning. He was going to see Patton.  _

_ Janus’s mind spun, coming up with nothing he could do, except… he jumped into the trap and the door closed with a loud snap. Patton darted away, and he had the slightest moment of relief before a massive face was looming over him.  _

Janus woke in a cold sweat, breathing fast and heavy, his chest aching more than ever. Maybe sleeping hadn’t been the best idea. 

  * •^*^••



Patton hadn’t had very much success. He’d hoped for an ice cube kicked under a fridge or something, but he just couldn’t find any. So finally he just got the strawberry and headed back to Janus’s house. 

Along the way, he heard again the very loud human. He’d been quiet for a long time, but the last day or so he’d been really loud. Patton hoped that Janus couldn’t hear him from his house, especially when he needed to be resting. 

He walked by a vent shaft, and could even pick out words. “I’ll gas you out you little—“

And then Patton was far more worried. He went back to Janus’s house, where he was still just sitting in the same place, taking slow breaths and looking up at the ceiling. 

“Jan, there’s a human about to put out gas on this floor. You can stay with me for a few days, or until your leg is better. I really don’t mind, but we should probably go soon.”

Janus looked at Patton, and his eyes were oddly blank for a few seconds. “I’m sorry, I was dozing, what did you say?”

Patton was almost certain that he hadn’t been dozing, but either way he was a lot more present now. “A human is gassing for something. Just in case, do you want to stay with me for a bit?”

Janus frowned. “I’m not sure I can make it up there.”

“I can help you! We’ll make it, don’t worry.”

Janus’s face paled slightly, but he nodded. 

Patton got down underneath Janus’s arm and held him around his chest, only barely starting to help him up before Janus stiffened, jerking away from his hand. 

“Janus? What’s the matter?”

Janus’s face had a distinctly pained expression that he smoothed out quickly. “I got some bruises from the fall too. It’s not a big deal, you just happened to press on one.”

“Oh, Janus, I’m so sorry! You have to tell me these things before I end up hurting you!” Patton said quickly. “Let me know where I can hold.”

Janus shifted his hand, and then they both struggled to get Janus somewhat-standing. 

“Patton, I don’t know—“

“We can do it,” Patton insisted. “It’s better than chancing you getting hurt.” He grimaced slightly. “More hurt.”

Janus took a deep breath and nodded, his face smoothing into something perfectly even. 

  * •^*^••



Just standing like that had been nearly torture. As soon as they arrived at Patton’s house, if they arrived at Patton’s house, he was showing Patton the rest of his injuries. They were probably mottled enough that Patton wouldn’t be able to pick out finger-marks, and he wouldn’t know. But then Janus could rest, and perhaps Patton would have an old ibuprofen tablet squirreled away. 

But before then he had to be strong. Just had to make it there. And if he could manage not to worry Patton until they arrived that would be just great. 

“You ready?” Patton asked. 

Janus nodded, gritting his teeth and hobbling forward. 

He was doing it. He was holding it together. 

_ “Yeah, holding it together till the door of your own house.”  _ His mind mocked him.  _ “How do you think you’ll make it up a whole floor?” _

He shoved the thoughts away, concentrating on moving forward, and on the feeling of breath coming in and going out, repetitive, easy. Patton was steering them, and opening the door, so he didn’t have to worry about that. 

Almost as soon as the door was open he heard the distant yelling, his blood going cold. He tuned it out the best he could, just trying to keep up with Patton. A slight stumble, and Patton caught him, but even with the better positioning of his hand, Janus wished he’d just let him fall instead of pulling so hard against his ribs. 

“Are you ok? Do you need a break?” Patton asked kindly. 

Janus shook his head firmly. If he took a break he might not get moving again. He just had to push forward with this. 

It was a clear shot from here to the ladder, and Janus didn’t dare let himself think about the ladder, but here, now, he could make a straight walk. 

They hobbled forward, the slow progress almost as painful as the aching in his chest. 

“I  _ will _ find you!” Janus suddenly heard, far, far too clearly. Immediately he started trembling, only getting worse the harder he tried to suppress it. 

“Jan? Are you ok?”

Janus couldn’t bring himself to nod. “I can keep going. Talk? Please?”

“Yeah, of course.” Patton said, but by the look on his face Janus knew he’d failed at keeping him from worrying. “So the family on the third floor, the one with two kids, they just got a little puppy! And he’s so cute! I was kind of wondering if maybe, if I got close really slowly and carefully, if I could train him not to bother me, or maybe even to like me! I’ve heard other borrowers have done that with dogs before. Do you remember, some even trained birds to fly with them? I don’t think I could do that, but a puppy! And he’s such a sweet little thing!”

Patton’s rambling made things far easier, and they made it a good ways before they were next to the ventilation duct, and Janus could hear a rattling clang that he somehow knew was the cage thrown against a wall. “Come out now! I know you’re in here somewhere!”

Janus’s legs gave out, and Patton couldn’t stop them both from dropping to the ground, but he did try, and the further pull on Janus’s ribs made him choke out a pained sound. 

“Janus! Janus, look at me, say something, come on. Janus, please!”

Janus’s head turned towards Patton, but he didn’t see him, just saw a massive hand coming for him,  _ again.  _ He cowered down, a whimper slipping out of his throat despite all his attempts to hold it in. 

“Janus, please, we need to get you away from here.”

“You’re dead! When I find you you’re dead!”

“Jan, you’re safe, you’re alright, just come with me. We’ll get you away from here.”

The shatter of glass. 

A tugging at his arm. “Janus, you can’t stay here.”

A wordless angry yell and thud as something was kicked. 

Janus curled tighter on himself. Two hands, small hands, covered his ears, and Patton pressed his forehead to Janus’s. 

“You’ll be alright, Jan. I’m taking you to my house and no one will be able to see you at all. You’ll be safe, and there’s a nice bed just calling for you. Oh, and I made a bath! It’s a real bath with hot water and everything. That would make you feel so much better, wouldn’t it? We just have to get there, sweetheart. Let’s get you up there and get you a very nice warm bath, get you feeling better, ok?”

Patton’s voice trembled, and Janus finally looked up enough to see the tears running down his face. He reached out and grabbed Patton’s shoulders, pushing himself up to a standing position with a groan. Patton stood, slipping beneath his arm and helping carry some of his weight. 

“There we go, there we go, Janus. Let’s keep going. We’ll make it, you’re doing so well!”

They kept walking, Patton rambling about anything that came into his head, and encouraging Janus with every other sentence. 

And slowly the other voice faded into the distance. 

And then they reached the ladder. Janus looked up and shivered. He didn’t think he could make it. Judging by Patton’s frown, he didn’t think so either. 

“Ok. I’m going to tie the end of my string around you,” Patton said, pulling out his hook and unwinding the string. “I’ll go up ahead and hook the hook over a rung and pull you up a little. You’ll have to hold on while I move the hook up a few rungs, and then we’ll do it again. Do you think you could handle that?”

Janus gave a shaky nod. Patton tied the string so when he pulled it would pull more around Janus’s thighs than his chest, but Janus was still scared. It was going to hurt. And it was dangerous for Patton too. If he slipped while trying to pull Janus up it could be a long, long fall. 

Patton’s hands were trembling. Janus held them, holding Patton back from starting up the ladder. 

“I’m ok,” Patton said, trying to take a deep breath. “I’m just very upset that—- it can wait. We can talk once we get you to my house, ok?”

Janus nodded. “Thank you, Patton. I don’t know—“ 

Suddenly he could smell it. It was the gas, it was already coming. 

“Let’s go,” Patton said quickly. “We’ll talk when we’re both up there safely.” He squeezed Janus’s hands and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before starting up the ladder. 

There was a slight tug to the string. “Ok, it’s set. Try to climb, and I’ll pull.”

It did hurt. The string pulled tight, cutting into his skin, and lifting his arms above his head hurt too, when it hadn’t before, and he couldn’t stand to put any weight on his one leg, but he was climbing. One painful rung at a time. And short rests, while Patton moved the hook up. 

The smell of the gas grew stronger, making Janus sick to his stomach. He hoped that it wasn’t affecting Patton, since he was higher up, but worried that it would anyway. 

The minutes dragged slowly, painfully, as the ladder continued. It was a long climb, made infinitely longer by the achingly slow crawl up. 

Every time he was pulled up seemed to hurt worse, despite him trying to pull most of his weight up himself. 

He was strongly tempted to whine “how much farther?” But he knew he didn’t really want to know, he just wanted to be done. To lay down and not move anymore, and especially not to have anything pressing on his ribs. 

“We’re making it,” Patton said, panting. “We’re making it. We’ll get there.”

It seemed an eternity before Patton gasped, a happy almost giggle spilling out. “I can see the ledge, Janus! It’s just a bit more. Just a little! Come on, we’re almost there!”

It still took ages, but Patton was counting rungs, and Janus knew it was almost over. Just to the top, and a walk farther. Some turns, a little squeeze through a tunnel, and then Patton’s home. 

And then he made it to solid ground, and he could’ve cried. He didn’t, just panted and smiled at Patton, but Patton had tears running down his cheeks even as he smiled back. 

A short rest, and they were walking again. It took time, but just knowing how close they were made them move faster, until finally they were dropping into the nest of cloth that was Patton’s bed, wet giggles and tears, and hugging that was very careful not to hurt Janus. 

“We can talk after a long nap,” Patton said. “Maybe even tomorrow. Oh! Wait, I have medicine!” 

He actually had an Advil, with a little hole poked in one end, and he leaned heavily onto it until he’d squished some of the gel out and made Janus eat. It was absolutely disgusting, but the promise of relief was greater, and after a lot of water the taste mostly was gone. 

“Now we sleep,” Patton said, flopping beside Janus. “But tomorrow we talk.”


	2. The Next Morning

Waking was a slow process, and when Patton finally opened his eyes and stretched, he was surprised to see Janus. And then the memories of yesterday started flooding back. 

And worst of all, he thought, or guessed, that he knew what had happened before yesterday. Certainly it wasn’t just a fall. 

He certainly remembered getting scared nearly out of his skin when he’d been trying to go into the mean human’s apartment, and realized only when some trap closed that the human had very nearly seen him. And he knew that it was the same human that had been yelling yesterday, gassing and generally throwing a fit. And with Janus’s reaction, he had an idea like a painful rock sitting in his stomach about what that trap may have closed on. 

Patton got up, puttering around quietly and making breakfast. 

  * •^*^••



Janus gasped, the afterimage of a massive hand looming towards him still. His eyes squinted shut as he tried to slow his breathing. He was in Patton’s house, he had to be quiet, had to not let him know quite how bad it was. Except… memories of the day before floated into his mind, of Patton pulling him through, of Patton helping him even through a near-breakdown. 

“Janus?”

Patton came into the bedroom with two little bowls. 

“What—?”

Patton beamed. “It’s oatmeal! I told you I had a way to get hot water.”

Janus smiled, even holding out his hand for the bowl, but as soon as the heat hit his hand and the smell reached him he suddenly didn’t want to eat anything anymore. He set the bowl in his lap, as Patton sat down beside him. 

“Are you ok?” Patton asked gently, and Janus pulled up a smile. “No. Maybe I should rephrase that. You’re not ok. You’re safe now, but you’ve been hurt a lot, more than you’re telling me. And you’re holding it in.”

“I’m fine, Patton.”

Patton frowned slightly. “You’re really not. I think… I think I’ve guessed what happened, and that you’re still trying to protect me by not saying it, and that is so kind and so strong of you! But it’s not healthy.” 

Patton reached out and cupped Janus’s face in his hands gently. “You’ve done so well, and you protected me when it really, really hurt you.” 

Tears were running down Patton’s face, and Janus found tears pricking at his eyes too. “And now, you can set that to the side and let me help you. You don’t have to like the oatmeal, and you don’t have to make yourself be quiet when it hurts, and you don’t have to watch your words just to protect my feelings. It’ll still be there, even if you set it aside, you can still be the big strong protective Janus when you want to be. But for now, can you just let it go and let me be the strong one for a while?”

Janus felt tears run down his face, and when he reached for Patton he moved closer, hugging Janus very softly, careful not to touch or squeeze, and Janus’s whole body shook as a sob tore through it. 

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Patton said gently, a hand stroking over his back lightly. “Just let it out.”

More and more tears gushed out, and then a quavering voice that Janus had to take a minute to identify as his started talking. Started from when the human had loomed over the trap and dragging all the pain out into words, thrusting them into the open, where their acid could hurt other people. Could hurt Patton. But Patton just stayed tenderly comforting him the whole time. And then it was just tears, rivers and rivers of tears that left him exhausted when they finally slowed. 

Patton kissed his forehead, laying him back against the pillows. “I’ll get you more medicine so you can sleep well ok?”

Janus nodded. 

Patton came back with medicine and water, and took away the bowls that had miraculously not spilled. 

“I’m so angry,” Patton said, but on his face was only worry. “I’m so angry that someone would hurt you like that.”

And somehow, that was exactly what Janus needed to hear. Patton hadn’t blocked off his words, ignoring them as they poured out, but they hadn’t hurt Patton either. He wasn’t drowning in guilt, he was angry. Angry for Janus. He didn’t have many more tears left to cry, but those that were left poured out easily. 

He reached for Patton’s hand, and Patton held his hand until he’d had medicine, and then shifted to lay beside him, stroking a hand through his hair until Janus let the exhaustion take him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
